


Let's Go Home

by Obsessiveangel



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Implied Romance, also i hope i can call this an au, i know i put ayahina and touken there but don't expect any confessions or kisses lmao, i will cry if it becomes canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7766830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessiveangel/pseuds/Obsessiveangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All she wanted was to go home with the people she loved, but even that wasn't possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Go Home

“Onii…”

The words were caught in her throat, her lungs inflated from the breath she didn’t realized she was holding. It’s only been two hours at most since she last saw him. Yet, with all that had happened, it felt like forever. Not to mention, Kaneki Ken’s appearance itself seemed to have changed far too drastically for it to have been anything shorter than a year.

_Onii-chan..._

 He came. He came back. For a moment, that was all that mattered to Hinami because the man she had all along loved as her brother had returned and this time, he looked stronger than ever, more determined than ever and more alive than ever. They were safe and they would be going home soon. Together. Hinami could feel the tears gathering in her eyes from that thought. Everyone was together. Everyone would be going home together. She was happy. She couldn’t be happier.

Exactly. She couldn’t. Because right after that, a grunt from Banjou brought her back to what was going on right at that moment beside her.

_Ayato-kun!_

Tearing her eyes away from her precious Kaneki, Hinami turned back to someone else who was also really dear to her. Ayato was still, as he had been for the past few minutes. Banjou was leaning over him, panting hard.

“Banjou-san, is Ayato-kun going to be okay?” she asked. Without realizing it, her fingers were crossed, though they were hidden under the sleeves of Ayato’s coat.

Banjou looked up at her and then down at Ayato. His head moved a little from one side to another.

“I... tried my best...” Banjou said. “I don’t know if he’ll make it.”

“No... this...” Hinami’s mouth went dry and she looked down at Ayato, who seemed to be almost completely motionless aside from the faint rises and falls from his chest (he was breathing— good). Hinami and Ayato had been in their fair share of battles and missions where either of them (or sometimes both) ended up getting hurt pretty badly. But never once had there been an incident which made Ayato fall to such a level. Never once had he completely collapsed in battle. Never once had he been so reckless.

Because Kirishima Ayato was a person of many strengths and few weaknesses. Even Hinami, who knew him so much better than most people, could list the weaknesses of using only her fingers on one hand (or maybe two).

Number one, his sister.

Number two, her.

The rest didn’t exactly matter because the reason why he was lying on the floor fighting for his life was probably these two.

Especially number two.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry... please be okay,” she whispered. She reached out and took his hand, shifting closer to him. She was exhausted as well. Her body was heavy and it was hurting all over. But she didn’t let herself be bothered by it. Ayato might be dying.

“Ayato-kun!” Her voice was still hushed but it was a little louder and much more urgent. Banjou looked up and watch her, his eyes displaying all the hopelessness he felt in that situation. Hinami didn’t notice it though. She was much too worried about Ayato.

_Why?_

Why was she so weak?

_Why?_

Why was she always getting others hurt because of her?

_Why?_

Why were people so determined to protect her?

Just what about her was so important? Just what about her would make someone like Ayato— one of the strongest, most skillful and most experienced fighter she knew— completely lose his cool and rush into a battle he was sure to lose alone?

“Ayato-kun, why? Why would you do this?”

Some kind of gurgling noise came from Ayato’s mouth and Hinami realized that his mouth was twitching a little— just a little, tiny bit.

“I... diot...” His voice was soft, faint and weak— everything Kirishima Ayato wasn’t.

“Ah... Ayato... kun?” she whispered. Her voice was soft and calm and her face was stoic but her mind and heart was in a mess. It was a whole celebration going on in there. Ayato was alive. He was breathing. He was talking. He was... probably trying to smile and laugh at how much of an idiot she was being.

Just like always. Just like usual.

“Ayato-kun!” she cried out, louder and more expressive this time. Her eyes were welling with tears and she couldn’t see him clearly through them but she could hear his raspy breathing and she could feel his fingers trying to wrap themselves around her small hand.

“I... ah...” He was trying to say something but for some reason, his words weren’t coming out. Hinami tightened her fingers around his hand and clasped her other hand over his as well. Ayato opened an eye slightly, not enough for her to look into it even. His other eye remained as it was— too bruised, swollen and hurt for him to open it. He opened his mouth again.

“Ah, no,” she said, hushing him before he could make an effort to speak. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”

His mouth twitched again— another attempt at a smile?— and he shook his head slightly. It wasn’t even shaking, more like tilting. He took a deep breath, coughing a little.

“I... am not going to make it,” he said. Too soft. His voice was too soft to be his. She didn’t even want to process the words that the voice that wasn’t his spoke. “Hi... na... please... Aneki...”

“Onee-chan is...” Eh? Hinami looked around but everything was in too much of a mess. She couldn’t find Touka at all. She looked back down at Ayato, tightening her grip on his hand even more. “I’m sure she’s somewhere. Just hang in there, Ayato-kun!”

There was that gurgling sound again and his mouth twitched once more. Hinami wondered if that was just him trying to laugh.

“I... am... going to... die,” he said flatly. He heaved as he spoke, like as if he was fighting battles after battles just to get the words out. Hinami could tell from his eyes that he had too much too say but too little breath left.

_No._

“You’re fine... You... just need to rest!” It was getting hard to talk. Something was rising up in her throat and she couldn’t swallow it down. Each time she opened her mouth to speak, she ended up choking.

“I... diot,” he said playfully and for a moment, it seemed like he was fine. “It doesn’t hurt anymore... Everything’s... numb... Hina... you’re such an idiot... crying over me...”

It was at his words that she realized that the tears were streaming down her face. She dropped his hand, moving them up to her face to wipe off the tears. Her eyes met Banjou’s in the process and she was immediately overwhelmed by everything she saw in there.

Banjou was... sorry...

_Ayato-kun is going to die._

“I... can’t see you... I can’t see anything...” Ayato grumbled under his breath, just like he used to do whenever Naki pissed him off or whenever he had to get out of bed early for missions. “But I bet you’re crying... fucking crybaby.”

Hinami found herself tearing up even more, with sobs escaping from between her lips. He was still him. He hadn’t changed at all.

“Oi, stop talking,” Banjou cut in. “You need to rest.”

Ayato made the gurgling noise again and Hinami was starting to really think it was his laughter. His head shifted slightly, turning to face Banjou despite the fact that he couldn’t really see the latter.

“Like that’s gonna help... You’re... as useless as ever,” Ayato muttered. He fell silent for a short moment, breathing deeply— struggling, even. “But... but... tha... thank you...”

Banjou blinked a couple of times. “Look, like I said... I didn’t do it for you,” he sighed, “though, you’re not that bad anymore.”

More gurgling noises and Ayato shivered slightly, murmuring curses which Hinami’s sharp ears surprisingly couldn’t catch. Hinami forgot about her tears and she reached over to hold Ayato. His body was trembling and she wondered if it was from the cold, pain or fear. She pulled him closer, holding his body against hers tightly. She buried her face in his hair, inhaling the smell of blood that lingered around him. She held him in silence, the concept of time slipping from her mind.

“I wanna... Onee-chan,” he mumbled. “Where is... Onee-chan? I... need to say... I want to... Onee... chan...”

It felt like he was slipping away. Even though she was right there, clinging onto him as tightly as she could, she knew he was leaving.

“No, no,” she sobbed. “Don’t... leave me.”

“Why is... it so quiet? It’s too dark... I’m scared,” he continued. “Onee-chan... Otou-san... Okaa-san... where....”

He was rambling. Hinami doubted he knew what he was saying.

“Hey, Onee-chan,” he whispered and Hinami wondered if he had mistaken her for Touka or if he was just speaking his mind. “I... I am... sorry... I hurt you... made you... cry... I... am a monster... I... I... sorry...”

He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. Hinami pulled him closer shaking her head, hoping and praying that he could feel her against him. She just wanted him to know that she was there, to remind him of what he had accomplished so far and to make him recall the good things.

“Ayato-kun, you’re no monster. I was very happy to have met you,” she whispered, though it was obvious that Ayato couldn’t hear a single thing as he continued with his murmuring. “You were the only person who supported me when I was in Aogiri. When I was sad, you made me smile. When I was scared, you held my hand. When I was weak, you made me strong... But now... But now...”

_You’re dying... because of me..._

Bursting into sobs stole the remaining words from her mouth. All she could do was cry and listen to Ayato’s voice go on and on about stuff that she really didn’t want to hear. His sister. His father. His mother. Anteiku. Aogiri. Tatara. Naki. Miza. His subordinates. The people he’d killed. The people who’d try to kill him. The things he saw and did that he hated. The things he wanted to do. The life he wanted to live.

No, that wasn’t what she wanted to hear. It was only bringing her more pain. What she wanted to hear was his cheerful greetings, his haughty orders, his annoyed grumbles, his cheeky jokes and his gentle laugh.

If only... she could see his smile.

_Just once more._

“Ah, Ayato-kun,” she whispered. “Please, don’t go.. You... You were... my first... my only... friend...”

_Maybe even more._

“Please,” she begged. “If you... go... it’ll be hopeless... Even if Onii-chan is back and I can see Onee-chan again... Even if I’m with Banjou-san and Yomo-san... Even if I’m safe and free... Everything is... Everything is not worth it... Not if you go... Ayato-kun... please...”

Ayato’s body shuddered and he coughed a little, splattering blood out of his mouth, making Hinami whimper and tremble in desperate prayers. Why couldn't someone just save him? Anyone?

“O-onee... chan... where... are...” His voice was at it’s weakest and Hinami looked around again.

_Where was Onee-chan? Where was she?_

“I really... always...” Ayato’s chest heaved and he made some kind of spluttering sound. The words that followed seemed very forced out, like as if the thread that held him to their world was right on the verge of completely snapping.

“I really love Onee-chan... forever... and ever...”

Ayato fell silent, aside from his raspy breaths but even they fell silent after some time. He body stilled, going completely limp in her arms. Hinami stayed still for a moment, trying to fully grasp the situation.

She couldn’t.

She placed him back down on the ground, staring at him, his face smoothed out and his hair somehow falling back. Ayato looked... peaceful.

“Ayato-kun?”

No response.

It had snapped.

And soon, so did Hinami.

* * *

 

Touka’s legs were too numb. They weren’t hurting. They were just numb. Her body, however, felt like it was entirely on fire. She somehow ended up recalling Ayato’s comment from the conversation they had after their first escape from Arima. Her brother was right. Maybe she was a little too rusty to just break into a ghoul prison just like that. That too, Cochlea.

She looked up and saw a familiar face walking towards her. It was strange how Kaneki seemed so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. He stopped in front of her and held out his hand.

Or rather, his claw.

Keeping the snickers to herself, Touka gratefully took his hand and let him help her up. Behind him, she could see Yomo sitting up slowly. He was hurt pretty badly but it seemed like it would heal.

“Touka-chan.” Kaneki seemed like he had changed a lot but the way he said her name was still the same and it made her heart race.

“Kaneki...”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Touka looked down at herself. No visible injuries. Nothing actually hurt too much other than her entire body screaming at her for overdoing everything after three years of peaceful living. She smiled at Kaneki.

“Thank god,” he whispered, smiling back at her.

Touka looked around the place, seeing fallen bodies of both ghouls and humans. It felt so wrong and sickening and it was far too long since she had last witnessed such a bloodbath. But that was their world— violence and spilt blood were inevitable.

“You... killed those investigators,” she murmured.

Kaneki grimaced. “I... had no choice... They were going to kill you... If I lose you guys as well... I’d... I’d...” Kaneki shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut. He took deep breaths for a moment before he looked back at Touka and forced out a smile. When he spoke again, Touka realized the hand that moved up to his chin. “You know... it’s not that bad. I mean, I don’t really feel anything.”

She would be worried if he wasn’t lying but she decided not to call out on that lie as well. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was safe, that she was safe and that everyone else was safe— Ayato, Hinami, Yomo, Banjou and everyone else who came along.

“Touka-chan... can I... come back?” His question came out of the blue and Touka stared at him for a moment. His eyes were as melancholic as ever yet his smile spoke of hope. She found herself nodding before she even spoke.

“Let’s... all go back... Everyone, together!”

Her reply, childish as it may have sounded and seemed, widened his smile, which made her smile all the more. From behind, she could see Yomo watching them with a warm, gentle gaze and she nodded at him. Everyone was there. Everyone she loved was there.

Finally, she could go home with everyone— with Kaneki, with Hinami and with Ayato.

_Ayato..._

“I need... to check on my brother,” she said, looking around and trying to find him. His injuries were bad but she trusted Banjou. Ayato would be fine. Anyway, he was a strong kid— he had always been.

“I’m sure Ayato-kun’s fine,” Kaneki said, looking around as well.

Touka eventually spotted him, lying on the floor with Banjou and Hinami at each of his side. She started walking towards them, with Kaneki following behind her. Banjou and Hinami were merely staring down at Ayato, their expressions blank. Ayato looked like he was asleep.

“Banjou! How’s Ayato?” she asked, stopping beside him. Banjou looked up at her blankly.

“Ah! M-manager!” he gasped.

“Is Ayato okay?” Touka asked, this time a little more urgently. The way Hinami was staring at Ayato was making her skin crawl. Hinami hadn’t acknowledged her or Kaneki at all. Her eyes were just stuck to Ayato’s face. Her expression was blank, far too blank, and somehow, Touka thought back to the time Hinami lost her mother.

“He... He’s...” Banjou mumbled, trailing off.

“Hinami-chan?” Kaneki called out softly. “Are you...”

Kaneki trailed off as Hinami looked up, her wide eyes darting between Kaneki and Touka, before locking gazes with Touka. Something coursed through Touka’s spine. That look in Hinami’s eyes was enough for her to understand.

“Onee-chan...” Hinami whispered, her voice completely devoid of emotions. “He... wanted to see you and he said... that he had something to tell you.”

“What is it?” Touka asked. It took all her willpower to keep her voice steady and stop it from cracking. Her legs were going weak.

Hinami’s eyes went wider and Touka could tell that everything was rushing back to her— the pain, fear, worry, loneliness and guilt over what had just happened. Touka’s legs were trembling but she clenched her fists and locked her knees, trying her best to remain strong. Hey, maybe she was just misreading the whole thing or maybe that bastard of a brother decided to play a prank on her.

Hinami’s eyes were streaming and her body was shuddering from her sobs. Her arms moved to wrap around her petite body. Even though she was all grown-up now, she started to resemble the little kid Touka had taken care off years ago. She was that Hinami again— the one who was too innocent and had lost too much.

“He said... he said... he wanted to see you... and that... and...” Hinami’s voice trembled as she spoke, as did her body. “Huh? I... I can’t remember... Ayato-kun... said... he said...” She leaned over, grabbing her head in her hands.

What? What did he say?

“He said he loves you... That he really loves you... Always,” Banjou said, keeping his eyes purposefully on his fists in front of him.

As Banjou spoke, Kaneki was just about to go to Hinami. But he didn’t, because once Banjou’s words were out, Touka’s knees gave way and she fell forward, with Kaneki thankfully catching her just in time.

“Touka-chan!” Kaneki gasped.

There was no reply from Touka— nothing in the form of words, at least. All that could be hear was a girl’s wail of distraught and sorrow that reverberated through the walls of Cochlea as once again, that dungeon did it’s duty, churning out pain and sorrows one after another.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on tumblr some time back. I don't know why it took me so long to post it over here though.


End file.
